Stop the presses! Tiger Woods to speak!

So I just finished rubbing my meat.

Hey, relax!

I'm talking about applying the spice rub to some pork ribs that will become mojo-braised pork, but I can see where your minds are at.

My wife is having some people from her work over for dinner and drinks tomorrow night and like a good house husband, I'm trying to whip up something tasty for them.

Meat rubbed. Check.

I came up with the recipe at about 4 o'clock in the morning Wednesday while tossing and turning. I've marinated the ribs in mojo before, but I thought, why not try braising them in mojo and chicken stock for about 4 hours? After searching the Internet, I discovered that a lot of other people have had the same idea. We'll see how they come out.

Tiger, we await your words. We are not worthy!

So all the news this morning was that Tiger Woods was going to finally break his silence and maybe explain his behavior. Gee, that's a load off.

I mean, despite all the natural disasters around the world lately, the European debt problem, the escalating war in Afghanistan, persistent unemployment, uncertainty about the future of Social Security and the failure of our government to hash out a health care solution, the one thing that's been nagging me, the thing that's just kept me tossing and turning at night, is how Woods has been coping with the fallout of his infidelity and when we might expect a tee time for him.

Do we really care? Is this really all that important, people?

Several news stories stated that Woods would speak, but not answer any questions. Wouldn't it be great if no one had any questions? Wouldn't it be great if no one showed up at all?

It's really become a pretty silly world. But I guess it has always been that way.

Here's my question to Woods: Who in their right mind, living with the Hefneresque fantasy of a hot Swedish wife WITH AN IDENTICAL TWIN, cheats? What's wrong with you, dude?

Poor Tiger.

Brian.